A weird picture for an odd post. I asked Fern’s help and she decided I should represent the chill in my house by doing a weird Facetime capture with her space heater in the corner (flanked by Wakandan warriors, no less (they’re not really Wakandan)). Strange, no? Seriously, click on it for a bigger version (if you dare!), it’s freakin’ weird.
For tonight’s post I’ve tried a number of different directions, and nothing is sticking, so to that end I’m going to go all stream of consciousness on you:

• March is a weird month. There’s the whole “In like a lion/out like lamb” (or vice versa), but there was also pi day last week on 3/14. Speaking of stream of consciousness, I completely missed Bloomsday this year on March 16^th, commemorating the birthday of James Joyce. That same day in Boston, they celebrated “Evacuation day,” which is the anniversary of the first major victory of the revolutionary war when the British evacuated Boston. Really, though, I think it’s just a warm up for the following day when Boston celebrates Saint Patrick’s Day. Did you drink green beer and look for leprechaun gold? Me neither. I am excited that tomorrow is the Spring equinox — quite excited by the longer days going forward. I signed up for a daily email from the National Day Calendar folks which alerts me of such critical days as today’s National Poultry Day — sorry, I didn’t get you a card.
• File under “I’m my own worst critic”: last week I was patting myself on the back for being fairly consistent about updating my blog. Today? Beating myself up for not making any progress on the two features I’m working on for the site, not to mention the state of the two don’t-call-them-novels novels. Good thing I’m getting more adept at sorting the wheat from the chaff when it comes to self-criticism – Bad Jordy is right, I’ve been negligent on some of the projects I’ve been meaning to get to. Though, I think the time away from at least one of the features has been helpful – coming back to it today, I think I might have a narrative structure! Take that, Bad Jordy!
• My four-year-old iPhone 5S is driving me nuts. It had been growing steadily slower, but it wasn’t until the last major update that it went utterly batty. You’ve probably heard about the battery issues plaguing earlier iPhones, well, given that my model is the oldest that could get that update, it’s made it positively insane. I won’t complain too much, suffice it to say that it will drop from a full charge, straight off the plug, to 85% within minutes. Should I dare actually, you know, use it? It’s going to drop below 50% within the hour, and rip on down to the 20% warning in no time at all. Three hours off the electrical tether and I’m getting a sub-10% warning. Though the moment it registers its plugged in the battery jumps to at least 55%. It’s maddening, but now I’m taking it personally. It’s like me and the iPhone are locked in a battle of imbecilic wills – I will not let its slowdowns, its molasses-like opening and switching of apps, and its intermittent freezing and restarting beat me! I won’t, I won’t, I won’t!!!
  (maybe it’s already won? Shh, don’t tell!)
• And now for your moment of zen: