31 Ghosts – Divorce

A two-parter here. Oftentimes I’ll split a story because it’s gotten away from me, and I want to continue to write the following day. This one is a little different in that I didn’t run out of time but got to the end and realized there’s practically a whole other story to tell. Hopefully that will be clear by the time you get to the end…

Amelia and her lawyer, Susan, were already seated at the dark wood table in the glass-walled conference room at Baldwin, Reed & Parker on the top floor of the Hellman building downtown when David and his lawyer, Vivian, were escorted in by the firm’s receptionist.

“Thank you, Edgar,” Susan smiled at the neatly dressed young man as David and Vivian took seats across from Amelia and Susan. Edgar made his way back out the glass door and left the room in an only moderately uncomfortable silence. “Vivian, good to see you,” Susan said cordially.

“It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” Vivian smiled.

“It has. I thought you were out of family law.”

“I am. David and my husband are friends, and he asked me to represent him.”

Amelia audibly cleared her throat.

Susan looked at her client and then said, “Right, well, thank you both for coming this afternoon. This is an informal discussion to list marriage assets and determine how things are divided so that when we get to court everything goes smoothly. All right?”

Amelia stared daggers at David, who gave a resigned sigh and nodded. Susan looked at Vivian and the two exchanged an all-but-imperceptible look that said, “Oh boy…”

Susan and Vivian opened their respective folios and shuffled some papers while their clients looked on.

“I believe most major things have been discussed previously,” Vivian started. “David agrees that Amelia will get the house and her Audi, while David will keep his SUV…”

“The one he slept with that whore in,” Amelia exclaimed, jabbing a finger at David. As soon as it was out, Susan turned a fierce stare on her, cowing her back into her seat.

David, for his part, sighed sadly and said, “Amelia, you know that’s not true. I never slept with Trish…”

Amelia looked like she was going to say something, but the withering stare from Susan kept it unspoken.

“Just so we’re clear,” Susan said venomously, looking between the couple, but mostly at Susan. “We’re not here to make accusations. This isn’t a therapy session. You both agreed that ship has sailed and crashed on the rocks and you are here to sort through the wreckage. I’m sorry to be blunt about it, but Vivian and I can sort through this without the two of you in this room if there is going to be any further outbursts. Am I being clear?” This last bit was directed pointedly at Amelia.

“Understood,” David said at once.

Amelia was sullenly quiet.

“Amelia? Is that clear?” Susan asked more sharply.

“It’s clear,” Susan said finally.

“Good,” Susan said, her face relaxing into a mask of a smile. “Back to the big subjects, the house, the cars…” She looked down at her notes. “…Umm… you’ve both agreed to split retirement accounts and savings, good…”

“My client would like to make sure that accrued debt would be split equally between the two parties,” Vivian added.

Amelia flashed outrage, but a look from Susan stifled whatever she was going to say. “That’s fine. We’ll have to work out the logistics, but in principle that’s fine.” She looked back at her papers, reading her notes, “…neither side is seeking alimony… no children…David, am I correct in that you’re not looking for any of the furnishings in the house?”

David looked at Vivian who nodded. “That’s right. She can keep the house and the furniture. I just want my clothes and effects.”

“You’re lucky I didn’t burn them or cover them in bleach!” Susan exclaimed.

This time David wasn’t quiet either. “Do you mean before you falsely accused me of sleeping with Trisha or after you slept with Carl?”

“I only slept with Carl because you slept with Trisha!”

“But I didn’t sleep with Trisha!”

“You might have well have!”

“Stop, both of you!” Susan yelled above the fray. Both sunk back into their respective leather chairs at Susan’s tone. “Once more and we’re kicking you both out. Understood?”

Both nodded.

“Last item here… custody of Sam?” Susan asked quizzically. “I thought there weren’t any children involved…”

“There aren’t,” Vivian explained. “And the name is Sal, not Sam…”

“It’s Sam and you damn well know it!” Amelia said.

“It’s Sal!”

Susan held up a finger and the two fell silent.

“Who is this Sam/Sal character?” Susan asked.

Vivian shifted in her chair before answering and then cleared her throat nervously. “Sal is a ghost.”

“A ghost?” Susan chuckled, but when no one joined in, her smile faded. “Look, I’ve had a lot of strange requests in these meetings – really contentious fights about who gets the teacup pig, or who could or couldn’t go to a specific bar. But custody of a ghost?”

Vivian looked at her, “Is that going to be a problem?”

“Beyond the fact that ghosts aren’t real…” Susan said.

At that moment, the papers in front of Susan flew up in the air in a whirl of white pages before drifting down to the table as Susan stared wide-eyed.

“I thought you said he wasn’t coming to this meeting?” Vivian asked David.

“It wasn’t my decision. He attaches to one or the other of us and we don’t know when he’s around until he…” he gestured to the scattered papers as the last one settled on the dark wood desk, “… until he makes his presence known.”

Amelia smiled, “Hi Sam!”

 “Okay, well, then…” Susan breathed deeply to gather herself. “Has Sam/Sal made any indications about who he wants to stay with?”

“He wants to stay with me,” Amelia stated flatly. An empty rolling chair next to Amelia slammed into her chair. “Ow!” she grabbed her hand that was caught between the leather chairs.

“That’s pretty clear,” David smirked. “Sal wants to go with me,” he said. A disposable water bottle launched itself from the table and bounced off David’s head. “Jesus!” he clutched at his forehead.

Susan looked between David and Amelia. “So, I guess that means Sal/Sam isn’t interested in being with one or the other. Perhaps we can discuss a…” she paused, rubbed the bridge of her nose and muttered “I can’t believe I’m saying this…” barely loud enough to be overheard. “Perhaps we can discuss a joint custody of Sam/Sal.”

All hell broke loose.

Empty chairs were overturned, the conference room door swung open and closed violently, both lawyers’ papers flew around as if propelled by an unseen tornado.

The chaos went on for several minutes as everyone looked on in terror. When everything finally stopped moving and slamming, Susan looked at Vivian with a helpless expression. “Viv? You got anything?”

Vivian took slow breaths trying to calm herself before speaking. “I’ve got an idea, but it’s pretty crazy…”

Susan looked around at the upturned chairs and papers everywhere. “At this point, I’ll entertain crazy.”

“Have you ever worked with Mary Ann?”

“Oh Christ, not Mary Ann Nurse? No, no, no, no, no…” Susan said.

“Susan…” Vivian coaxed.

“She’s crazy, Sue. She claims to be a psychic.”

“Fine,” Vivian said, “but given what has just transpired here, can you honestly say a lawyer who also claims to be psychic is all that strange?”

Susan considered this. “Is she even still practicing? Is she with a firm? I know Hillman & Wexler fired her…”

“I believe she has her own firm of just herself.”

“Just herself? What’s the ‘firm’ called,” Susan added air quotes.

Vivian bit her lip and paused before pushing a black business card embossed with gold script across the table. It read, “Nurse & Visions Legal Counsel.” In smaller script below, “Paranormal Proceedings, Spectral Counsel, Attorney at Law.” And in smaller script below that it read, “We validate parking in the theater garage.”

Susan rubbed the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes and finally said, “Okay. Call her.”

To be continued…

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