Okay, I’m breaking it into THREE parts. I’m having fun here, but ran out of time. We’ll finish up tomorrow, I promise!

The ink wasn’t even dry as the Reeds moved in like a hurricane. The first wave felt familiar: moving trucks with couches, beds, furniture, boxes. Gary, Mary, and Dennis stood inside watching the movers hustle everything inside as Gavin and Sophie instructed for this piece here and that box there.

Mary noticed it first.

She sniffed as the movers dragged a bureau in through the front door. “This isn’t their stuff,” she said as her nose wrinkled.

“What are you talking about, mom?”

“The… energy associated with all this…stuff. It’s very different from the Reeds’ energy. Can’t you tell?”

Gary sat down on the newly-moved couch, sniffing. “Yeah, I see what you’re talking about…”

“Then what’s with all this stuff?” Dennis asked as the foreman came through the doorway with a clipboard.

“Mr. Reed? Mrs. Reed? That’s all of the stuff for the staging.”

“Staging?” Gary exclaimed.

“Fantastic,” Gavin said signing the clipboard.

“Thank you, Sam,” Sophie thanked the foreman.

Handing the clipboard back to Sam, Gavin turned to his wife and said, “Shall we get the equipment?”

“Let’s,” she agreed as the three walked out the front door, closing and locking it behind them.

“Equipment?” Mary asked.

This was the eye of the move-in hurricane and it lasted a few hours before the hearse appeared in the driveway followed by several black box trucks. What followed reminded Gary of the time-lapse of roadies setting up a festival concert. Cameras, lights, rigging, Pelican cases filled with computers and monitors and half a dozen techs setting things up.

The staging made the house look fairly… normal, lived in. The family room had a couch, a lived-in armchair, and TV; the master bedroom had a king-sized bed with floral duvet covers; there were toothbrushes by the sink. But behind the door in Dennis’s old room stood a vocal booth for overdubs as well as a control board and recording equipment. The basement looked like it was ready to produce the Super Bowl for all the screens and computers and slides and dials.

“What have they done?” Mary asked awed.

“This isn’t the worst of it,” Dennis said. He led his parents up into the kitchen, pointing to pin pricks in the corners of the room. “Cameras and microphones.” He moved his hand towards the light switch and the light glowed an unnatural brightness.

“Dennis!” Gary admonished. “We’re not going to do anything, remember?”

The Reeds scurried into the kitchen, staring up at the light. “It’s beginning!” Gavin said, gleefully. Sophie actually squeed and did a little dance.

“See? Look at how happy they are!” Gary threw up his hands.

“No, dad, it doesn’t matter right now – they’re not recording. This is actually perfect because now they have hope that we’re going to keep doing this,” he motioned and the light turned off.

“This is fantastic!” Sophie cheered.

“I don’t like this,” Gary tutted.

“No, I think Dennis has the right idea – I don’t think we should do anything else, mind you,” she said eyeing her son. “But now they think all they have to do is flip on the cameras and voila!”

“There’s more, though,” Dennis said and led them on a tour of the house pointing out temperature sensors, motion detectors, infrared cameras, and hidden microphones.

Gary whistled. “They really loaded this place up, didn’t they?” He looked from Mary to Dennis. “Well, let’s get ready to not haunt this place.”

The following day the ghosts watched from the second story as the Reeds announced to cameras how they had bought this house where a family met their untimely demise and now they were going to document all their encounters. They led the cameras through the house showing the staged kitchen, the family room, the master bedroom. As they made their way out to the stairs, the ghosts moved aside as the couple and their cameras paused.

“And right here,” Gavin intoned, “The father, Gary Daniels fell over this banister, plunging to his death on the tile in the foyer.” The camera followed his motion, pointing dramatically over the banister to the floor below before coming back up and focusing on Sophie.

“We know the ghosts of that poor family still walk these halls,” she looked around in wonder. “We’re going to make contact with them…”

“The hell you are,” Gary stage whispered.

“…and record every encounter for you, our devoted fans.”

“So, stay with the Haunt Pursuit team as we take you into a true-life haunted house. We’ll be right back after a word from our sponsors.” The pasted-on smile and glowing enthusiasm instantly evaporated. “That should be a good introduction, right Todd?”

Todd, wearing an oversized headset stood behind the cameras and boom mic operators and flashed Gavin a thumbs up.

“We’re good, then?” Sophie asked.

“Yeah,” Todd said. “We’re going to shoot some B-roll footage and should be on track for…” he consulted his clipboard, “…At nine we’ll start filming the monitoring of the instruments.”

“Perfect,” Gavin said looking at his watch. “I’ve got a massage in twenty minutes…”

“I’ve got a mani-pedi at five,” Sophie said, starting down the stairs.

“Love what we have so far, guys,” Todd said enthusiastically as Gavin and Sophie left the house.

“God, I hate those two,” Gary said standing next to Todd, who himself whispered, “God, I hate those two,” under his breath too low for anyone other than Gary to hear.

Two weeks later Gavin walked through the foyer exclaiming, “What do you mean we don’t have anything?”

Todd and Sophie followed. Todd explained, “We have plenty of B roll, but as you know, the cameras have recorded absolutely nothing. The only thing we caught on audio was an intern snoring in the spare bedroom. The temperature sensors never wavered, and the EMF meters picked up zero anomalies.”

“Todd,” Sophie said, “We know this place is haunted. We saw activity the first day we were here!”

“I’m not doubting you, Ms. Reed. I’m just saying we’ve got nothing to corroborate that.”

“Nothing? Two weeks and you’ve got nothing?”

Gary fist-bumped Dennis.

“That’s what I’m telling you, Mr. Reed. Maybe you could do something to draw them out?”

“Like be less douchy,” Dennis quipped.

“Dennis!” Mary admonished.

“Like what, Todd?” Sophie asked.

Gavin spun and pointed a finger at Todd, “Don’t say it, Todd. Don’t even suggest it…”

Todd held up his hands in a placating gesture, “Mr. Reed, I’m not saying we have to go with.. Him…”

“Good, because we’re not going to go with that… Judas!” Gavin practically spit.

“A Judas?” Gary nodded. “Okay, I’m listening…”

“Gavin,” Sophie put a soothing hand on Gavin’s arm, “Maybe Todd is right. Maybe a séance with Arnold–”

Gavin jerked away. “You said his name. I told you not to ever say his name!”

“I like this Arnold already,” Mary smiled.

“Gavin, honey,” Sophie consoled. “We have a house with expensive equipment and an expensive mortgage and staff and it’s all paid for by our generous fans and sponsors. But if we don’t have content, we’re going to lose those fans and sponsors…”

“We can bring the ghosts out ourselves!” Gavin argued.

“No you can’t,” Gary said.

“Gavin, no, we can’t,” Sophie said as gently as she could. “Two weeks and nothing on sensors or cameras. We need to bring in Arnold.”

Gavin flinched at the name again, but everyone could see the fight wasn’t in him. As a last resort, he suggested, “What if we do a Ouija session tonight? You know how those always stir up the spirits!”

Sophie rolled her eyes and Todd sighed.

“Look, let’s give it a shot at least,” Gavin argued.

“Fine,” Sophie said. “Todd? Can you set up the dining room?”

“Yes, Ms. Reed.”

At nine, the production lights dimmed to a suitably eerie ambiance and Todd signaled for the cameras to start filming as Gavin and Sophie stood over a Ouija board.

“Good evening and welcome to Haunt Pursuit where we’re going to contact the ghosts in this house using this Ouija board,” Gavin began his introduction.

As Gavin spoke, Gary asked “Why do we have to stand so close to them again?” as he pressed uncomfortably against Gavin’s back.

Dennis, pressed against Sophie’s back, said, “Because that camera there,” he gestured with his chin “is a thermal camera. If we stand here it’ll pick us up. Pressed up against them, we just look like part of them.”

“And why is Mom back there with Todd?”

“Because we’re going to make sure Gavin there doesn’t try something with the planchette.”

“…Let’s begin,” Gavin intoned and he placed his fingertips on the planchette, as did Sophie’s manicured nails. In a overly loud voice Gavin asked, “Are there any spirits here that wish to speak with us?”

The planchette didn’t move. Then, slowly, it drifted across the board to stop on the word “Yes.”

Sophie gasped.

“That son of a bitch,” Gary said.

“Gary!” Mary said from behind Todd.

“He’s moving the planchette himself!”

“Are you the ghosts of the family that died here?” Gavin intoned.

The planchette slid off of “Yes” into the middle of the board, paused, then smoothly moved back to “Yes.”

“What is your name?” Gavin asked gravely.

The planchet moved from “Yes” to “G” and then “A”

“I don’t think so,” Gary said, leaning forward and putting his own fingers on the planchette.

The planchette moved from “A” to “Y”.

“Gay?” Gavin said confused.

Dennis snickered. “Nice, dad.”

Todd sighed audibly. “Yeah, we can’t use that.”

“Maybe the ghost is coming out?” Sophie said hopefully.

“We don’t want to appear too woke, dear,” Gavin said. “Todd’s right. Okay, let’s try again.” He moved the planchette back to “Yes,” asked Todd if he was ready. When Todd nodded, Gavin intoned, “Do you have anything to say to us?”

Dennis leaned forward this time.

The planchette moved to “M”

“M” Gavin announced.

The planchette moved to “O”

“O” Gavin said, then “I”, then “S”, then “T. Moist?”

Stiffled laughter could be heard from behind the camera.

“What the hell?” Gavin asked the air.

Gary looked at his son, “Moist?”

“No one likes that word,” Dennis explained.

“We can’t use that,” Todd said. “No one likes that word.”

Gavin growled with irritation. “We’re going to try again,” he said testily, sliding the planchette back to “Yes.” “Ready, Todd?”

Todd silently nodded.

“Who would like to speak with us tonight?” Gary intoned again.

The planchette slid to the middle of the board and started towards “G” again, but Gary put his fingers on the board and stopped the planchette from moving.

“Oh no you don’t…”

The planchette stopped moving abruptly. Then it started moving towards “D.”

“Nope,” Dennis said, leaning forward and putting his fingers on the planchette, stopping its movement.

The planchette appeared to jerk a bit as Gary and Dennis fought Gavin trying to move it.

After minutes of the planchette doing nothing but hover in one place on the board, Todd spoke up “Guys, this isn’t particularly compelling…” he said, bringing the lights up to regular level

Sophie took her fingers off the planchette with a sigh.

Gavin kept his on there, the tips of his fingers white on the planchette.

“Gavin, you’re pushing it!” Sophie said.

“Yes… but they’re pushing back!” Gavin said.

“But you’re moving the planchette,” She said.

“Yes but…”

“But you’re moving the planchette,” she said acidly.

“But…” he started.

Sophie stalked out of the room.

“Where are you going?” Gavin called.

“I’m calling Arnold,” her voice trailed in.

Gavin stood abruptly staring after his wife, taking his fingers off the planchette. The force from Gary and Dennis caused the planchette to fly off the board. His eyes followed the planchette as it bounced across the floor. “Did you catch that?” he asked exasperated.

Todd shook his head. “We weren’t rolling.”

“Goddamnit,” Gavin stomped his feel in a tantrum.

“Language!” Mary said even though Gavin couldn’t hear her.