Food And Drink

Eat, Drink, and be merry!

Pumpkin $pice

There’s a meme that goes “If I won the lottery there’d be signs…” and then there’s a picture of something outrageous like a life-size Millenium Falcon in someone’s backyard, or a swimming pool filled with Reese’s. Or folks use it as a social critique and show a full gas gauge, a cart of groceries, or going to the doctor and dentist.

I did not win the lottery tonight, but I can at least point to one item that I would purchase if I were to ever come into enough money where I could consider myself “well off.” I give you, the Le Creuset Signature Pumpkin Cocotte. I hope that link works forever, but in the event that it doesn’t (it’s true, nothing on the internet truly lives forever – particularly if it’s something you want to refer back to at a later point in time), this is what the Le Creuset Signature Pumpkin Cocotte looks like in the “Persimmon” color:

Feast your eyes upon that enameled cast iron beauty!

“But Jordy,” you say, “I just pulled up the Let Creuset website that you linked to and hasn’t yet become a dead link and I notice that the price for the Signature Pumpkin Cocotte is only $368. A little expensive, sure, but calling this a signifier of wealth? Really?”

Ah, indeed! You see, for $368 (plus shipping) you indeed get a four-quart enamel cast iron cocotte but – in case you haven’t noticed – it’s shaped like a pumpkin. I happen to like pumpkins…for approximately three months out of the year and then I don’t think about pumpkins again.

And there’s the rub!

You have means enough to decide to drop nearly $400 on an ornamental cooking vessel that you’re likely only going to pull out for three months out of the year. What’s more, even during those three months, how often are you reaching for a four-quart pot? I’m going go to out on a limb and say it’s almost certainly not every day. Maybe once a week? Say, Sunday dinner? Four Sundays a month, three months, now you’re using this nearly $400 ornamental pot maybe twelve times a year.

But what are you doing with it the rest of the year? You need a place for it to go – somewhere safe. So, you’ve got the money to outlay for this enamel cast iron gourd and the kitchen real estate to stash it when it’s not in use (so, almost all the time). Nice kitchen, space to spare…

But let me say again, it’s not that expensive up front. But it’s the fact this thing has risen to the top of your “I should buy this” list ahead of everything else in your life, and you’ve got the space to store it.

If you own the Le Creuset Signature Pumpkin Cocotte you’re doing just fine.

B’deviled Eggs

The elusive deviled egg plate in its natural habitat.

What’s with the “B'” deviled eggs? The “B” is for bacon which pairs with the flash-candied jalapeno for a lovely contrast.

12 Large eggs
¼ cup sugar
¼ cup water
1-2 red jalapenos sliced into rings
3 slices bacon cut into little bite-sized pieces
⅓ cup mayonnaise
1 tablespoon Sriracha
2 tablespoons cream cheese
2 teaspoons Dijon mustard
1 tablespoon Balsamic vinegar
Salt and pepper

While hard boiling the eggs, in a separate saucepan boil water and sugar into a simple syrup. Once combined, pour the simple syrup over the jalapeno rings in a bowl and set aside.

Peel and slice eggs in half lengthwise and place yolks into a bowl. In yolk bowl, combine mayonnaise, Sriracha, cream cheese, and Dijon mustard. Stir in Balsamic vinegar until smooth. Add salt and pepper to taste.

Pipe egg filling into egg shells in that fancy deviled egg plate you got twenty years ago and have only used a handful of times and can never find it when you actually need it. That one.

Place a jalapeno ring into each egg half and then add a bacon piece on the opposite side.

Chill for a half hour at least. Then make sure you eat one now because you’re making sure it hasn’t turned to poison in that half an hour. Also, you know you aren’t getting one later because they’ll be all gone and, damnit, you deserve to have that one!



Jordy’s Potato Salad

Boring Name, I know. Would you prefer “Jordy’s Potato Salad OF MYSTERY”? Because… there’s no mystery. In fact, this is about as typical a potato salad as you can ask for – and that’s what I love about it. It’s that potato salad. It’s the one that looks all non-descript, but you keep going back for seconds, and thirds, and… just make the damn recipe. Yes, makes a lot. That’s a feature, not a bug.

5 pounds of potatoes (Yukon Gold if you want them to stay together, Russets if you just don’t care)
1 jar dill pickles
1 cup mayonnaise
¼ cup yellow mustard
4-5 stalks celery
1 bunch green onions
6 hard boiled eggs
celery seed
salt and pepper

Cut up potatoes into bite-sized cubes. Be careful, your girlfriend will tell you your bite sized cubes are too big to be a real bite size. She might be right… Boil until soft.

Dice celery, 4-5 dill pickles, green onions, and peeled hard boiled eggs and add to bowl. Combine with the mayonnaise, mustard, celery seed, salt, and pepper.

When potatoes are soft, drain and place in bowl. Pour about half the jar of pickle juice over the still-hot potatoes. and mix everything together – “mush all together” is the actual instruction I wrote down. Then add salt and pepper to taste because I guarantee you didn’t add enough the first time around.