When we got to Fern’s, the first order of business was to get the bird cooking. The brining bag made draining the liquid (while retaining the solids) over the sink a simple procedure. Opening the bag, wow… that brine is deliciously aromatic. But will it translate to tasting delicious? We pulled the bird out of the bag and generously rubbed the turkey.

The roaster came up to temperature in a shockingly short amount of time. The lid barely cleared the breast, but it seated properly and set the timer for three hours and Fern and her mom settled in to reheating with the microwave.

Worried about the power of the roaster, I foolishly didn’t check the temp until the full three hours was up. Bad move, as the bird registered 170 everywhere I stabbed. Uh oh. And while I said we had to wait a half hour for the bird to rest, a revolt started. No one wanted to wait. So… with all of about five minutes resting… I carved.

I needn’t have worried, though.

Dear reader, that was one of the juiciest, most flavorful turkeys I have ever had. What’s more, everything was amazing. Fern’s dressing had a fantastic depth of flavor and remained deliciously moist. Her aunt’s greens (mustard greens with turnips) were sumptuous. And my dishes performed admirably – the mashed potatoes tantalizingly garlicky and buttery, the alterations I made to the standard green bean casserole paid off stupendously. The Macaroni and cheese – which uses un-cooked macaroni – was a little too crunchy around the edges. The middle had good flavor, but I should have worked harder to get all the macaroni better integrated and, unlike the other dishes, suffered from the travel and reheating; I’d make it again but I certainly wouldn’t travel with it.

Before you would scarcely believe, we had laid waste to a substantial amount of the feast. My tummy was painfully full but more than that, I was so ecstatic that everything worked out so well. The circumstances provided some challenges and forced some adjustments, but I can say that I’m no longer a Thanksgiving pedestrian. I earned my wings, or, rather, my drumsticks

 

Yes, it took longer (by a couple hours) than I expected, but we’re all cater-wrapped and ready to go over to Fern’s house where we will get the bird in the roaster.

But let’s back up and see the few pictures I took today (I’m tired, alright? 😉 ).

So, first up was the turkey rub. This is Thanksgiving incarnate: salt, pepper, rosemary, thyme, sage, and garlic all ground together in an utter state of happiness:

And I didn’t take any pictures of the procedure of the mashed potatoes because, let’s face it, it looks pretty boring. But I want to highlight this incredible masher I treated myself to this year. A little history: even back when I was married we never had a decent potato masher. Instead we had a potato ricer. That makes for super silky smooth potatoes, but… Why we never bought a decent masher… no clue. So, this year, I decided, that masher drought would end. Behold, the greatest masher EVER — the stainless steel ZYLISS Potato Masher (and, you know, you can go over to Amazon to get one yourself — did I mention it’s AWESOME?! ‘Cause it is). How badass is that?!

Finally, the beloved green bean casserole. I had some shredded cheese left over from the mix, so I added that on top below the topping fried onions because, dude… cheese???

And that’s that! Akilah’s pie is cooling, I’m going to jump into the shower and we’re going to get his party started!! Happy Thanksgiving, all!

Whoever said no plan survives contact with the enemy must have foreseen my day today. I had all the recipes. I had my timetable (though I didn’t get the pie baked Tuesday, so I was already behind). I gathered my ingredients…

And then Fern texts me that the oven at their house went out. Crap. So, everything that they were going to cook is now going to split time with my oven projects which, as I mentioned, are already behind. It’s going to be a long night…

And indeed, it did not begin auspiciously. After picking up the sweet potatoes for Fern’s pie, I swung by Bottle Barn to grab a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc and a Champagne for tomorrow. I had Google Girl do the calculations for the drive home, hoping she’d rout me around traffic. She did… right through Coffey Park. There’s nothing to remind you how lucky you are, how much you have to be thankful for than passing through utter and complete destruction. We are so very lucky…

That being said, if anyone would like a dog and two cats please let me know because after what they greeted me with when I got home they’re lucky they didn’t join the turkey in the brine bag (I know Winston wouldn’t have fit. “We’re gonna need a bigger bag….” 😉 ). I was furious. Fern called right during an exceptionally colorful profanity jag and she managed to cool me down. I gathered myself, took care of things, and threw myself into the battle at hand.

The Greatest Pumpkin Pie Ever

The crust went together pretty well, and the spices in the filling seemed on point. I didn’t anticipate

either the crust growing as it did, nor a bit of the burn on the top most bits of the crust. Overall, it still turned out okay and I don’t think anyone will complain once there’s a slice on a plate with a healthy dollop of bourbon whip cream on top.

So spicy! Not everything was whole-spice.

Turkey! Turkey! Turkey!

Jay’s maple bourbon brine smells incredible, with orange, clove, and of course maple and bourbon scents, that bird is enjoying a lovely dip right now.

My First™ Thanksgiving Macaroni and Cheese

Went together great, and it looks fantastic. Fern complained that it should have been twice the size it is. I reminded her we’re serving four and not twenty-four. Still, she has a point: next time I’d double the recipe, but I’ll have to report back on whether there will be a next time for this recipe.

That leaves (Mostly) Nana’s Green Bean Casserole and Vampire-Unfriendly Mashed Potatoes for early morning tomorrow. As I type Fern has the stuffing in the oven. It’s a late night and it’ll be an early morning, but so be it.

You might be wondering what my plan is for actually, you know, cooking the turkey tomorrow? Fern and her mom have an electric turkey roaster at home. What, might you ask, is an electric turkey roaster? Because that was my first question. Something like this. Seriously, I had no idea such a thing existed but I’m really glad they do!

More tomorrow – the final stand! And then the all-important tasting!