Selfies

Selfie Week 14: Resolution Progress Report, Q1

Go GiantsIt’s the beginning of April and the Giants hat in the picture serves two purposes – one, as much as any, it’s the start of the baseball season! The Giants are 2 and 2 and I’m happy with that right now. Tomorrow they have their first homestead and that as much as the glorious weather are showing the way to summer.

The second thing about that hat is it’s become my writing hat. It started as a fidget – the hat was in my office and I had writers block. I just put it on because it meant I didn’t have to stare at the blank screen. But as soon as I put it on, poof! The words came! I repeated it a few days later and, poof! More words! I hope this means the Giants will similarly find offense instead of just defense, but we’ll see! TWO AND TWO, I say!

Which reminds me, April also means the year is officially a quarter over. I’m honestly in a little bit of denial about this, but you can’t argue with the calendar. Well, sure you can, but people are just going to look at you funny. Funnier, that is. Back in January, I made some 2018 resolutions and I did say I wanted to “review every quarter to see how I’m doing.”

Lovely.

With no further ado, let’s get to the resolutions:

  • Achieve low-hanging Bucket List fruit: Cross off five bucket list items this year.
    Number of bucket list items crossed off Q1: zero.
    Yeah, we’re not starting out great, are we? I have excuses – of course I do, right? – but it’s been a matter of time and money, or rather a scarcity of both. I have gone through the bucket list and thought about what is reasonable for the year, and I still maintain I will be able to hit five items this year. And since this resolution doesn’t explicitly say “x number of items per quarter” I’m technically not behind.
    No if I have nothing to show for myself come the end of June, then it’s time to admit I’m behind the proverbial eight ball.
  • Selfie Posts! I’m not kidding: One Selfie Post a week. 
    On this point I can claim a victory! I admit, I’ve begun to stretch the definition of Selfie, but nonetheless, this marks the twelfth selfie post in a row since I started this. And, here’s a parade of Selfies thus far:
    Jungle Gym Jordy16-year-old-Jordy
  • Stick to a posting schedule: three posts a week.
    Not bad so far, and I’m proud of myself for this. Yes, a couple stories took the better part of two weeks (I’m looking at you “Utterly Unexplainable” parts 1 and 3!), but so far this year we’ve had a metal magician, a different perspective on a “Groundhog Day” phenomenon, a hit man who screwed up, Larry (destroyer of worlds), Last call on a space station, a dragon finding love, trouble in created realities, and then the three part story about unexplained belly button rings, three alien species, and sasquatches.
    It’s been a great quarter for stories! I hope you’re not bored, because there’s more coming.
    Oh, and I shouldn’t forget Five Things This Week. It’s expanded from exclusively linking to articles, to adding music, television, even shameless gadget plugging. I hope some of the stories and recommendations have been useful or at the very least put a smile on your face.
    To summarize: doing good on the schedule, and proud of it!
  • 10,000 step days. ‘ll start small and build: At least 1 10K day a week in Q1, 2 10K days a week in Q2…
    Where the bucket list items couldn’t be technically gauged as a failure since no specific quarterly timetable was announced, I can safely say this is the resolution I have most egregiously flubbed. Without checking I think I might have just a handful of 10K days for the entire quarter. Yeah, totally botched this one.
    Okay, new quarter, new start. I’m hitting the reset button and starting this week aiming for 1 10K day a week each week for the quarter. Here’s to new-new beginnings!
  • Shut up and make things! One completed project a month. 
    Yeah, I’m chalking this one up to time and money again, with a healthy dose of “weather,” as my construction area is the deck and it’s been messy to work out there. But that just counts as another excuse.
    I’m hoping to get this one started again for this quarter.

Honestly, these four resolutions are good ones and I’m glad I made them. Even though I’m only two and two (sound familiar??), I can say that the two I have been good on – the writing parts – have made a profound difference in my spirit and mood. There have been some major reasons for me to get pretty down these last few months – and anyone who has been around me can attest that they’ve probably seen me in those moments. But my writing has buoyed me like nothing else. I’m extremely proud of the quarter’s worth of writing that’s on here, and I’m excited to keep it up. Let’s make it a great spring!

Oh, and that podcast thing? Totally happening this spring!

Selfie Week 13: Adulting and A Quick Trip Back In Time

 

16-year-old-JordyThere’s a little talked about benefit of being an adult. I mean besides the whole no bedtime, no restrictions on alcohol, and being able to rent a car. I’m talking about not being asked what you want to do when you grow up. Oh, sure, there’s other coded ways that question gets asked: “What’s your career path look like?” “Where do you see yourself in five years?” “So? When are you going start having kids?” (Seriously, don’t ever ask that question. Ever)
But you cross that threshold into being an adult and there’s no guidance counselor. Sure, parents will still ask now and then, but even that tapers off. Either they’ll eventually stop asking, or they won’t be around to ask forever. And even when these questions get asked we’re often too busy to really stop and reflect on the question. Adulting is time consuming! Right off the bat get a job, figure out transportation, find a place to live, find a person to live with, negotiate what the shape of your family is going to look like, keep working, get that new job, new car, new dog, new child, mind the job, fix the car, walk the dog, feed the child, lather, rinse repeat.
It is a grind.
It really seems superfluous to ask “What do you want to do when you grow up” when you’ve already grown up, right?
Get in the time machine, we’re going on a trip. I’m setting the way-back dial to December 10, 1991. Ready? Hold on to something — it’s a disorienting ride and I’m not responsible if you get sick. Alright, here comes 88 miles per hour…

“My name is Jordy. Jordy Jensky,” I told her as I extended my hand which she shook as she replied, “I’m Nancy, Nancy Marshall.”
“Pleased to make your acquaintance, Miss,” and I truly was, for she was beautiful. “And what, might I ask brings you to Astoria?”
“I have family there. I haven’t seen them for years and I’m frankly too cheap to fly,” that answered my next question, “so, what brings you to Astoria,” she returned.
“Oh, it’s a long story, you don’t want to hear it.”
“But it is a long trip, and I am a wonderful listener. Please, tell me exactly why you are here now.”
 A lady that wants to hear me talk and is beautiful- I figured I had died and gone to heaven. “Well, it all began my junior year in high school. Mr. Green was my English teacher and we studied Huck Finn. Well, he had us do this paper on what our ideal life would be. I liked what I wrote so much that I decided to live it. After graduating U.C. Santa Cruz, I decided that the life of the typical nine to fiver wasn’t for me, so I headed out for a life of travel, meager jobs, and writing.”

 Aaaaand, that’s enough of that for now. I came across this essay right around when I turned 40, and it was absolutely wonderful. And terrible. Wonderble? Terriful? Whatever, that was written by that guy up there in the selfie. At my friend Rosie’s suggestion I made a couple stabs at writing that same essay now, but, you know, what’s my ideal life when, let’s say 50. Because, that question of “What do you want to do when you grow up?” still applies until you’re doing that thing. And 16-year-old Jordy had two out of three things right: I do want to travel. And more than anything, I want to write. That’s why I’m here, after all, regularly updating my blog long after the tidal wave of blogs crashed along the internet shore dragging personal narratives back out to sea by the thousands. That right there? That’s my passive aggressive way of saying, “Jordy, do you really think you can write?” Hold that thought.
I’ve seen some dark days. There were days when I didn’t know whether my significant other would live another day. I vividly remember that day in ’91 (speaking of 1991…) when I said goodbye to my dad for the last time and much more recently, just four years ago when I had to say goodbye to my mom. I remember not walking for most of a year. During those times I managed to come up with something of a mantra: Tomorrow will be better than today. It’s very simple and concise. Yet those words hold so much power. And hope.
Bad day? Tomorrow will be better than today. Okay… that’s positive.
Great day? Tomorrow will be better than today. Hell, yeah!
“Jordy, do you really think you can write?” Tomorrow will be better than today. Stay tuned: I’m going to keep getting better.
Seriously, that cockiness makes me smile, but it’d be ridiculously disengenuous for me to end it there, even if I really want to. Let me ask that question once more: “Jordy, do you really think you can write?”
I don’t really care. I’m having a hell of a time trying. And, yes, tomorrow will be better than today. So, yeah, do stay tuned! Who knows, maybe I’m bound for Astoria, Oregon!

Selfie Week 12: My Brain Is an Extremely Odd Place

A weird picture for an odd post. I asked Fern’s help and she decided I should represent the chill in my house by doing a weird Facetime capture with her space heater in the corner (flanked by Wakandan warriors, no less (they’re not really Wakandan)). Strange, no? Seriously, click on it for a bigger version (if you dare!), it’s freakin’ weird.
For tonight’s post I’ve tried a number of different directions, and nothing is sticking, so to that end I’m going to go all stream of consciousness on you:

  • March is a weird month. There’s the whole “In like a lion/out like lamb” (or vice versa), but there was also pi day last week on 3/14. Speaking of stream of consciousness, I completely missed Bloomsday this year on March 16th, commemorating the birthday of James Joyce. That same day in Boston, they celebrated “Evacuation day,” which is the anniversary of the first major victory of the revolutionary war when the British evacuated Boston. Really, though, I think it’s just a warm up for the following day when Boston celebrates Saint Patrick’s Day. Did you drink green beer and look for leprechaun gold? Me neither. I am excited that tomorrow is the Spring equinox — quite excited by the longer days going forward. I signed up for a daily email from the National Day Calendar folks which alerts me of such critical days as today’s National Poultry Day — sorry, I didn’t get you a card.
  • File under “I’m my own worst critic”: last week I was patting myself on the back for being fairly consistent about updating my blog. Today? Beating myself up for not making any progress on the two features I’m working on for the site, not to mention the state of the two don’t-call-them-novels novels. Good thing I’m getting more adept at sorting the wheat from the chaff when it comes to self-criticism – Bad Jordy is right, I’ve been negligent on some of the projects I’ve been meaning to get to. Though, I think the time away from at least one of the features has been helpful – coming back to it today, I think I might have a narrative structure! Take that, Bad Jordy!
  • My four-year-old iPhone 5S is driving me nuts. It had been growing steadily slower, but it wasn’t until the last major update that it went utterly batty. You’ve probably heard about the battery issues plaguing earlier iPhones, well, given that my model is the oldest that could get that update, it’s made it positively insane. I won’t complain too much, suffice it to say that it will drop from a full charge, straight off the plug, to 85% within minutes. Should I dare actually, you know, use it? It’s going to drop below 50% within the hour, and rip on down to the 20% warning in no time at all. Three hours off the electrical tether and I’m getting a sub-10% warning. Though the moment it registers its plugged in the battery jumps to at least 55%. It’s maddening, but now I’m taking it personally. It’s like me and the iPhone are locked in a battle of imbecilic wills – I will not let its slowdowns, its molasses-like opening and switching of apps, and its intermittent freezing and restarting beat me! I won’t, I won’t, I won’t!!!
    (maybe it’s already won? Shh, don’t tell!)
  • And now for your moment of zen: