Mark texted the other day asking if I was interested in going to the Indy car races at Laguna Seca in September. We went in 2019 and had an absolute blast. The race took place last year in Laguna Seca again but, as with most events last year, no spectators were allowed. Early in the conversation he remarked on how weird it is to actually, you know, make plans.

And it is weird. And so, so wonderful.

I don’t know where you’re at in the arc of the pandemic. Myself, I’m one shot into vaccination with the second slated for next week. As it is, I’m about the last person in my bubble to get vaccinated. When Mark and I talked I had an appointment but not yet the shot. But just the appointment was an enormous relief: the end is in sight. There’s a proverbial light at the end of the tunnel and it’s not a train.

We can allow ourselves the extravagance of making plans with people we haven’t seen in a year.

As I write this, California is opening vaccinations up to everyone 16 and older on Thursday. I’ve read reports that nearly half of all adults in the state have had at least one shot. Now, the glass-is-half-empty person reads that and says, “Yeah, well, we need better than 90% in order to reach herd immunity, so we’re way behind.”

Fine.

But it’s a big, divisive state and we’re halfway there with a disease we’ve only been aware of for a little more than a year. The glass is half full, man. A year ago we were locked down with no idea how long it would last. My plans involved a sourdough starter (RIP Tina) and didn’t extend beyond that.  My family, spread like beads on a string stretching from southern California to the top of Washington were keeping in touch with weekly Zoom meetings. Now I’m trying to figure out how and when I can visit them all as soon as possible.

This spring is hopeful.

Akilah and I are setting our sights beyond our comfortable confines in other ways as well. To start with, well, you’re reading a selfie post on Think Dude Think, so that’s a start. I’m planning to get back on track with thrice weekly updates: Selfie posts on Monday, new stories every other Wednesday, and Five Things This Week on Fridays. Beyond that, we’re starting to put together a plan for podcasts. All of this is under the umbrella of Think Dude Think Media which we’re putting together in a formal way (anyone been through the LLC process and have tips, please drop me a line!).

Plans are powerful.

Yesterday I went out to one of my favorite local hiking spots I haven’t been to much since the fall. I really got into hiking last year – outside, away from people (mostly), good for me… perfect pandemic hobby. Owing to daylight savings and the addition of an adorable puppy, I haven’t had a chance to make it to many of my (non-dog-friendly) hiking spots. But this one is special, and I needed to get out.

I was the first and only car in the Shell beach parking lot at first light, and I felt pretty underdressed in my typical hiking shorts and t-shirt in the 38° pre-dawn as I crossed highway 1 and headed up the Pomo Canyon trail. The key word there is “up,” because the first 2/3 of a mile are straight uphill. It gets your blood pumping for sure and warmed me right up. Going up, though, I thought of advice I was given years ago in Boy Scouts: when going up a long uphill, don’t look up. Keep your gaze within ten or fifteen feet of you, but looking up just makes you tired seeing how much farther you have to go.

That was how 2020 felt. Don’t look up. Just keep going. We’ll get up this hill.

The Pomo Canyon trail intersects with the tail end of the Red Hill trail just before it drops down into the eponymous Pomo Canyon and back down to near-sea level. Normally I take that opportunity to head up to the top of Red Hill, and yesterday was no exception. And, goddamnit, I looked up the entire time. At the top there’s a picnic bench and I planned ahead and made myself a really great cup of coffee as I looked out on the serpentine Russian River as it met the ocean and traced the coast down towards Bodega. I had the windswept hillside to myself with the sun rising behind me.

Right now, friends, it’s okay to look towards the top. We’re opening up slowly, safely, and, crucially importantly, we’re making plans again.

Stick around, there’s going to be a lot more content around these parts.

Last week, New Years Eve, someone asked if I have any New Years Resolutions. Casual conversation. I remembered dutifully noting my New Years Resolutions back in 2018 and then trying to hold myself accountable quarter by quarter.

Didn’t really work; there’s the quarterly updates for the first and second quarters (even though, oddly, I labeled the second quarter update “Q3”…) and then that’s it.

I didn’t make a list last year. I think it’s because the year started hard and only got more difficult from there. Christmas eve, 2018, a boulder killed my Pontiac Vibe and I was scrapping to find a new car as 2019 came ringing in. The following month my phone drowned. Then there was a flood. A move. Work, work, work… And then Winston died…

I really miss that guy.

I want to start the new year by looking back a little bit. I’d hoped to do some reflection during the holiday break, but I ended up being pretty busy – more on that in a minute. So I’m going to take a moment to be thankful for some 2019 things:

• I’m proud of what I went through. That sounds pretty straight-forward, but like I was really proud of how hard I worked in 2018 (between my day job and two different bartending gigs over the summer and fall), 2019 saw a lot of big changes between my car, phone, living place, heck, I even changed departments at work. And I lost Winston (I’m not crying, you are!).
  …And yet, I think I’m a better person today than I was a year ago. Trial by fire? I don’t fucking know. I want my dog back. But I’m here. Still standing. I’m grateful for that.
• I’m proud that I was able to put together a third annual 31 Ghosts in October. I really love doing that. It’s hard. It’s fun. I don’t know if anyone’s reading, but it doesn’t matter. This is me dancing whether or not anyone’s watching.
• I’m proud of December 2019. Catering bartending dries up with the fall. November offered just a handful of gigs, so when holiday party events started showing up on the calendar, I jumped on every one I could. More quickly than I realized my dance card for December become over-full. I had several 12-hour days and 7am Day Job starting less than four hours after I hit the bed. I even managed to link a bartending gig in San Jose with a conference for Day Job that kept me away from home for the better part of a week (but had the benefit of being able to hang with my brother Jay and his wife Denise).
• I’m proud of what I accomplished this holiday break. I try to build at least one project in the downtime between Christmas and New Year’s. In 2016 I built my sewing table, 2017 was the surrounding “tower”. In 2018 I built my guitar case rack. This year I planned to do a number of things:
  1. Sand, prime, and paint the bathroom: one of the unfinished aspects of my new place was the bathroom. I’d planned on doing this since I moved in, but one thing led to another…
  2. Put up my pot rack in the kitchen: I got the pot rack a number of months ago, but one thing led to another…
  3. Put up the corner shelf unit in the kitchen – henceforth the Koffee Korner (yes, with “K”s!!). The corner shelf unit had been in the back since DE rebuilt the kitchen, but one thing—I’m going to stop saying this, okay?
  4. Bar Cart: I have a lot of alcohol. Please understand, I don’t consume a lot of alcohol, but I do have a lot. In the Mushroom Hut I had a great alcove where I could keep all my bottles, but I don’t have such a place here and it’s all been either taking up counter space in the kitchen or residing in hard-to-get-to milk crates. I resolved to build a bar cart that would slide into an open space beneath the kitchen counter.
  Dear reader, I got all three done! The bathroom is extremely white now (I need to put up pictures). The pot rack looks great, as does the Koffee Korner!! And the bar cart? Finished it yesterday. All my bottles fit! Oh, and I even managed to get in a great motorcycle ride last Friday!

• Finally, I’m patting myself on the back because I weighed myself this morning. I generally don’t like weighing myself for all the standard reasons, but I’ve made a ritual of weighing myself at the beginning of the year. Surprise, surprise, I’m down to my lowest weight since 2013. What’s more, comparing it to the beginning of 2018 I’m down 30 lbs.
  I’ve got a lot more to go, but, hey, nice job, Jordy.

So, what about 2020? What’s planned?

Nothing.

Okay, not “nothing”, but I’m not going to hold myself to resolutions. I want to publish more here. I want to get at least one podcast off the ground. I want to get my passport! I want to live a healthier, more productive life. I want, well, to be happy and fulfilled this year.

And with that, I’m going to head out and get this year started!

I’ve been living with my new phone for a few weeks now (and I love it), so in a sense this is old news. However, with the time change and the coming of spring, it feels like a good time to talk about new beginnings. For most people, a new phone probably isn’t a big deal, but I’ve had my old iPhone 5S for five long years. When I bought it I knew it would last a while, but I had no idea that it would hang around this long. I posted on BookFace that it drowned, but I didn’t go into much detail – though I did enjoy the speculation that I dropped it into the toilet. The truth is more mundane. Fern and I came out to the car to and I dropped my phone into the center cup holder like I have done a million times before. What I didn’t realize – and what was blocked from view by the corner of a blanket – was an open cup of water. The phone slid in with the grace of an Olympic diver and the blanket hid the mistake for a solid twenty minutes. “Did you put it in rice?” was the instant question I got when people found out the phone took a dip. Fair question, but I don’t think all the rice in China could have saved that.

Now, I didn’t resist upgrading for five years because the iPhone 5S is such a stellar phone (though, seriously, five years? That is kind of amazing). The truth is, by the time it became ridiculously evident it needed replacing a few years back, I couldn’t afford to replace it. With more than a little apprehension, Fern traveled with me to the AT&T store to see what I could afford. Turns out, quite a bit! Some contract restructuring and financing and I only ended up paying an additional $10 a month. So far I absolutely adore my coral-colored iPhone XR. But, let’s hope I don’t need it to last another five years.

If the iPhone drowning panic, followed by apprehension, ending in a good resolution sounds familiar it might be because it’s the second such change of the year.

I wrote about the passing of my dear Pontiac Vibe earlier this year. When I wrote that I had no idea what would come next. My insurance company had indicated they were going to total it out but had yet to get me a number. I was worried that I would have to sell my motorcycle in order to be able to afford anything even remotely reliable. When the number came in, I scrambled with Craigslist listings fired off emails to make meetings and finally took the advice of a friend (thank you, DE!) to stretch a little and try to talk down the price on a 2010 Toyota Matrix. It worked, and I’ve been enjoying getting used to a manual transmission again after quite a while without – and I got to keep my bike!

On their face, these two changes could be seen as minor – sure, the car was a big deal, but a phone is a phone, right? But taken together, they represent something bigger. In the space of the first two months of the year two of the cornerstones of my daily activities had to be replaced in a hurry with limited resources and a lot of anxiety. But it’s worked out so far. Though, I have the distinct impression that 2019 is just getting started.

As 2018 drew to a close, I looked back at my calendar and saw how crazy busy I was most of the year. Juggling three jobs, I still managed to take care of my fur family, spend time with Fern, and retain my sanity – hell, I even managed a road trip! I’m tired just remembering! But I got a lot of help from my friends, and I managed to get through.

I feel like 2018 was a warm up.

Other than the two big changes so far, I don’t have anything to base that on but a hunch. We’ll see what’s next.

PS: For the record, I did buy a lottery ticket today, so… who knows?