Annie and Jay stood on the front porch in front of the door. Jay clutched a nice bottle of zinfandel while Annie clutched a glass trifle bowl like it was a life preserver.
“Jay, press the doorbell,” Annie said with more bravado than she felt.
“You press it,” he returned.
“You’re right there,” she countered.
“I don’t want to be here,” he said. “No one wants to be at this house, ever. How they’ve managed to stay here for six months…”
“And what kind of neighbors are we that we never even said hi?”
“No one has stayed in this godforsaken house for more than two weeks. The fact that they’ve been here so long is solid evidence that they’ve clearly sold their souls to the devil.”
“That’s not fair, Jay.”
“You’re right, not even the devil would want to be here!”
Annie rolled her eyes and reached across Jay’s body and pressed the button for the doorbell.
When she did, the porchlight went out and the doorbell emitted a high-pitched, blood-curdling scream.
Jay screamed shrilly and leapt behind Annie. For her part, Annie knocked frantically on the door.
A moment later, the door opened to reveal a woman with wild tangle of red hair held in place by a pair of chopsticks. “Oh! Hi Annie!” the woman beamed. “Oh, did you try the doorbell? It hasn’t worked since we got here. It’s on the list for Jason to fix, but you know how it is? With so many things, it hasn’t gotten to the top of the priority list! Come in! Come in!”
Annie, still shaken, clutched the trifle glass in both arms as she gingerly stepped over the threshold.
“Trifle? Oh, that looks delicious,” she started to take the glass from Annie who didn’t seem capable of releasing it. After a moment of gentle tugging, she said, “Well, okay, you hang on to that.
“And you must be Jay? I’m Samantha, she reached out to shake Jay’s hand, but he had gripped the neck of the bottle holding it like a club, cocked back to beat someone. “Oh, you brought wine, too! That’s so sweet!” Samantha reached out and plucked the bottle from Jay’s hands. “Come in, come in, both of you!”
Jay stepped in still shaken.
Samantha closed the door behind them and called upstairs, “Jason! Annie and Jay are here! I’m going to decant this lovely zin they brought. Come on down and say hi!”
From upstairs they heard, “I’ll be right there!”
Samantha flashed them a big smile and said, “Make yourselves at home. I’m going to get this decanted!” And she disappeared into the kitchen.
“I take back the sold-their-souls thing – redheads don’t have souls!” Jay whispered.
The cruelty snapped Annie from her reverie. “Jay!” she snapped a whisper back. “You be nice! I’m sure that doorbell just… malfunctioned.”
“Uh huh,” he said. “It accidentally opened a portal to hell!”
Annie was about to argue but they both heard footsteps start to descend the stairs. Both turned to greet Jason, but instead watched in terror as a man covered in blood staggered down the stairs, caroming from banister to railing and back, missed a step and fell forward, the body tumbling the remaining steps to land with a sickening thud three feet from them. Annie could see the head twisted at an unnatural angle as blood started pouring from the mouth. Annie opened her mouth too scream but…
“Hello!” Jason said as he started down the stairs. “I’m so glad you guys could make it,” he rushed down the remaining steps and stepped on… nothing. Nothing at the base of the stairs. Annie and Jay looked up to see the blood prints, but the stairs were unmarred and clean. “Did you hear that thump a minute ago? We’re still working on the pipes…Hope you didn’t have any trouble finding the place,” Jason said and then laughed uproariously at his joke. When neither Annie or Jay reacted he clarified, “It’s funny because you live next door… See…. Nevermind…. I’m Jason,” he said reaching for Jay’s hand and shaking it vigorously.
“Uh, pleased to meet you, Jason,” Jay managed to say.
“And Annie is it?” Jason said, reaching for her hand. She stared past him at the empty landing again and then snapped out of it and shook his proffered hand.
“Yes,” she started unsure, “Uh… Yes. I’m Annie. Pleased to meet you, Jason.”
“Great to meet you both,” he said realizing Annie hadn’t let go of his hand. “Umm, dinner has a little longer if I know Samantha’s cooking. Please, let’s go sit in the family room.”
They all started into the family room which looked… really cozy, Jay thought. He stepped down into the sunken room which had plush tan carpet and was decorated in a very modern style with leather couches that flanked a brick fireplace with built- in bookshelves and tasteful recessed lighting lining the walls behind the couches.
“Wow, this is a gorgeous space,” Annie said echoing Jay’s thoughts.
“Thanks,” Jason said. We’ve been working room to room. This was the first to really feel like… home.”
“It’s really nice,” Jay said settling onto one of the couches.
“Thanks! Can I get you anything to drink? Wine? Beer? A drink?”
“I’ll have a glass of wine,” Annie said feeling herself start to relax.
“Beer?”
“I’ve got a really nice hazy IPA. That work?”
“Sounds great,” Jay said.
Jason and Samantha returned with the drinks and everyone sat in comfortable silence for a moment.
Annie started, “I just wanted to say sorry that it’s taken us this long to visit.”
“Yeah,” Jay agreed. “Most people haven’t stayed in this place long,” Annie elbowed him in the ribs.
“We’ve heard that,” Jason said. He looked at his wife and said, “We can’t figure out why! This place was priced well below market value and the listing had been forever when we stumbled across it.”
“It’s a really mystery,” Samantha agreed. “Do you guys anything about this place?”
Jay looked at Annie, worried about getting any more elbows in the ribs. But she nodded instead. “Well,” he said, “we were wondering about the turnover so we looked into the history of this place a little.”
“Yeah,” Annie said. “We’ve only been here a little more than five years, and already this place went through four owners.”
“That’s crazy!” Samantha said.
“What did you find?” Jason asked.
“Well,” Jay started. “It turns out this was the site where the original English settlers executed Native Americans in particularly brutal ways.”
Jason and Samantha flinched.
“Later, the building that occupied this site was owned by a butcher who is widely regarded as the first mass murderer in colonial America.”
“Wow,” Jason said. “That explains the reputation…”
“Oh, we’re just getting started,” Annie cut him off.
“Yeah, after the townsfolk stormed the butcher’s house and burned the place to the ground, they set his head on a pike as a warning.”
“I always wondered where people got pikes, you know?” Samantha started.
“It was a stop on the underground railroad,” Jay started.
“Oh, that’s hopeful!” Samantha said.
“Until a group of slave catchers caught wind of the place and burned the place to the ground with a at least a dozen people inside.”
“Oh.”
“Then the new building served as the amputation house during the Civil War.”
“That’s interesting, because it was under priced and didn’t cost us an arm or a leg,” Jason said with a big smile. “Nothing? Really?”
“The trees out front were used for lynchings…. Numerous times,” Jay said solemnly.
“Well, I’m glad we’re going to take those down. We’re thinking of replacing those with Xeriscaping,” Samantha said. “Way less watering.”
“Oh, totally,” Annie agreed.
“That’s it, right? Nothing else dark about this place, right?”
“That was it… until the sixteen-year-old boy of a family of nine butchered his whole family with a pickaxe about fifteen years ago,” Jay said.
“Oh my God,” Jason said. “They had a family of nine in this place? I mean, did they stack them like cord wood? I mean, I guess they probably did after the whole pickaxe thing…”
Everyone started at Jason open-mouthed.
“What? Too much? Sorry, sorry… The truth is, Samantha and I just don’t believe in ghosts or hauntings.”
Jay and Annie watched as a figure with long greasy hair obscuring his face stepped into the room behind the couch Samantha and Jason were sitting on. Vibrant red blood streaked his filthy clothes as he hoisted a bloody pickaxe over his shoulder and started in towards them.
“Right,” Samantha agreed. “Where others saw superstition and bad luck with this place, we just see opportunity!”
The boy staggered forward and raised the pickaxe overhead…
“I mean, do you guys believe in such things?”
Jay and Annie stared in paralyzed terror as the boy started to bring the pickaxe down in a killing stroke into Jason’s head. Suddenly a buzzer went off in the kitchen and Jason turned around to look at the kitchen – and right through the boy with the pickaxe.
“Is that the roast?” he said, starting to get up.
“I can get it,” Samantha said setting her wine glass on the coffee table.
“Nonsense, Sam. You sit. I’ve got this.” He stood and walked around the couch past the boy with the pickaxe. The boy hoisted the pickaxe and started after Jason into the kitchen. “You guys settle in. This roast Samantha made? It’s to die for!” he disappeared into the kitchen followed by the bloody boy with the pickaxe.
Samantha watched him go into the kitchen. “That man,” she laughed. “He just slays me!”
Annie downed the glass of wine in one swallow while Jay emptied his beer likewise.
