31 Ghosts – New Haunts

Down in the South Bay for a conference and looking at all the big shiny buildings (and stadiums) where I grew up definitely make me nostalgic. What about the ghosts still around?

The woman in the flapper dress stood on the corner and stared at the gleaming office building as cars drove by without noticing. A man in khaki pants and Patagonia vest over a polo shirt zoomed dangerously past on an electric scooter without paying her any mind.

“Margaret? What are you doing out here?” a man with an unkempt long beard asked. He wore dingy jeans, worn boots and a dirty shirt under a rough leather coat.

“Henry?” She asked. “Is that you?”

“Yep, it’s me,” he said as he let out a huge yawn.

“Where have you been?” she asked. “I haven’t seen you in… I don’t know… ten years?”

“Well, I took a nap,” he scratched his beard.

“For ten years?”

“Did I mention how hard working the goldfields were?”

“Every chance you get,” she rolled her eyes.

He scowled through his overgrown facial hair but the overall effect was more comical than gruff.

“What are you doing out here?” he asked.

She tilted her head at him. “Henry, a lot has changed while you’ve been napping!”

“Yeah? Like what?” he asked oblivious to the Uber that pulled to the curb beside him and two interchangeably dressed tech workers got out and walked right through him on their way to the office building entrance.

“Look at our house!” Margaret gestured at the office tower.

Henry turned slowly and upon eyeing the glass and steel building he let out a low whistle. “Well, ain’t that something!”

“That was our home!” Margaret said, her voice cracking with emotion. “That boarding house is where I was killed!”

“Me too!” Henry nodded. “Shot while playing cards.”

“Cheating at cards, if I remember correctly,” Margaret corrected him.

“Who told you that? They’re a damn liar!” he said defensively.

“It doesn’t matter…” she wiped at her eyes. “It’s all gone!”

“Welcome to my world,” the dark-skinned man wearing deerskin leggings and a bare chest said ruefully.

“It’s the injun!” Henry said in mock surprise.

“Muwekma Ohlone, asshole,” the man said.

“Henry, stop being mean to Asatsa. We’re all upset here.”

“I don’t see what y’all are upset about! That place was a shithole!”

“But it was our shithole!” Margaret said “And now we have… nothing.”

“Well… that’s not quite true…” Asatsa said.

“Our house is gone!” Margaret said.

“Do you know how long my house has been gone?” Asata asked. “But I haunted that lousy flophouse for decades!”

“Your point?” Margaret asked.

“Yeah,” Henry rubbed his beard. “Our Muwekma Ohlone friend has the right idea.”

“Which is?” Margaret asked exasperated.

“We march into that metal and glass monstrosity…” Asatsa started.

“And haunt the holy living shit out of it!” Henry said.

“But it’s so… cold,” Margaret stared at the anonymous façade.

“We’re dead,” Asatsa said. “Let’s go be colder and scare some tech bros!” He started for the entrance then stopped and looked back at the two standing on the sidewalk still. “Coming?”

“We can’t bring it back,” Henry said. “Might as well scare the living that are here.”

Margaret sighed. “Oh, alright,” she said. “Let’s scare the khakis off them!”

31 Ghosts – Dead Chat

Incoming Chat from: Dave@tandtengineering.com

Hi, this is Cameron. How can I help you?

Cameron? How are you still doing live chats – I’d heard you died. Is this someone pretending to be Cameron because that’s really sick. I know he was the best live chat person on here but come on! Some respect!

Hi Dave, no, it’s still me, Cameron.

But… you died. Right? That wasn’t just a nasty rumor your coworkers were spreading?

Well, yes, I did die, but…

Wait… I’m chatting with a dead guy? You’re a ghost?

I mean, sure, if you want to be technical…

You died. And you’re still working at Initech?

Yep. Woke up, went to my computer, logged on, and here I am.

You’re in hell. You realize that, right?

Old habits die hard, I guess.

Ooh, that’s bad.

Too soon?

You’re the dead one. You tell me?

I mean… it could be worse, right? At least this is work from… well, not home anymore I guess… work from grave?

Dude, that’s messed up. Hell.

There’s no fire or cloven-hooved demons with horns and pitchforks. Can we really call this hell?

Wait until you don’t get a paycheck.

Crap. I hadn’t thought about that.

What’s your plan, man? I mean… you’re dead and still working. What’s, like, your end game?

I… I don’t know.

Can you get out of there? I mean, you’re logged on… can you do some, like, ghost surfing the web?

Let me try. BRB…

<chat idle>

OMG, that worked!

You so went to porn sites, didn’t you?

No… I totally didn’t. But, uh, I’m not sticking around here.

Wait! Quick question, man: How do I reset the time codex master?

In the primary window?

Yeah.

File → Preferences → Primary display → codex, choose the tab for “Master” then make sure “retain settings” isn’t checked and then hit “reset.”

Jesus, that’s not intuitive. They need to make that clearer!

Not my problem! I’m dead and out of here!

Hey, Cameron?

Yeah?

Thanks. And good luck in the afterlife!

Thanks Dave! Thanks a lot.

And if you happen into the database of the credit bureaus…

You got it. Now, if you’ll excuse me, this Live Chat is, like me, going to be dead.

<Live Chat is offline. Please feel free to drop us an email at info@ Initech.com>

31 Ghosts – Negroni Sbagliato

https://pixabay.com/en/users/JESHOOTS-264599/

You’d think after five years doing 31 Ghosts I’d have the rhythm of the month down. You’d think that I’d know when things get crazy and when there’s a lull and plan stories accordingly… Yeah, not so much. The next two weeks look to be quite crazy for me and I have no idea what stories are going to look like. It’s going to be fun, though!
Also, I was going to find a new picture for this story, but I found this one I used… geez, forever ago and except for the iPhone that I’m sure is in a museum somewhere, it kinda works. But, OMG, that thing is ancient! Anyway, make sure to check your “For You” page…

“Hey Sis,” Tina said to Maria as she walked into the room through the wall. “Martin, how’s it going?”

“Just having dinner,” Martin said. “Want to join us?”

“Nah,” she said. Then, eyeing the amber liquid in the glass in front of him she asked, “What are you drinking?”

He picked up the glass and swirled the ice and orange peel. “Old Fashioned,” he said and took a sip.

“Wouldn’t you prefer a negroni. Sbagliato. With Prosecco in it,” she said in a pronounced accent.

Maria set her fork down loudly. “Christina Diaz,” Maria scolded, “Have you been obsessing on TikTok again?!”

“I mean… I’m not obsessing…” Tina said as she looked around the room, avoiding Maria’s hard stare.

“Tina, don’t you know they track you with that app? They use your viewing habits to determine a profile of you and then they know everything about you!”

“Maria,” Tina said conspiratorially, “I want to let you in on a little secret… I’m dead.” She nodded for emphasis. “They can track this ghost as far into the ether as they like.”

Meanwhile, in an office tower in AVIC Plaza, Beijing…

“Sir, we have a match!” The young man announced waving a paper in his hand

“Are you sure?” his boss stood up from his desk and took the paper, studying it.

“It’s a perfect match,” the young man said. “One hundred percent certainty.”

“Hmm…” his brow furrowed as he scrutinized the figures. Then he stopped, looked up and made eye contact with the young man. “Send it downstairs.”

“Down… downstairs, sir?”

“To the Zero Floor.”

The young man swallowed audibly. “Yes, sir,” he said and hurried back to his desk where he keyed up the profile that had been flagged, brought up the transfer screen and selected “Zero Floor” from the destination drop down. “Are you certain?” a popup warned. A chill ran down the young mans back. He’d heard stories about the Zero Floor, and about what could happen if you displeased those that dwelled below the basement… He drew in a deep breath, clicked “Yes”, and said a prayer for his soul.

Down below the basement where the elevators stopped was another floor. After it had been constructed and a ritual performed, the Zero Floor had been sealed up – there was no physical access to the Zero Floor. Not by the living, at least.

The light of a monitor turning on disturbed the sepulchral darkness. “New Profile Match,” flashed on the screen. A translucent hand moved a mouse and clicked the “Open” button. The name “Tina Diaz” showed up along with a number of trending numbers.

Another translucent figure floated behind the one at the desk and reviewed what the first was reading. The first figure hissed unintelligible sounds and the dark mass that approximated the head of the second figure nodded in agreement. Then it spoke, “Yes, she is one of us. We will track her down…”