31 Ghosts 2018 – No Good Deed, part 3

Did I say three parts? No, you must have misread me! I distinctly said FOUR parts! “No Good Deed” will absolutely, positively, without question conclude tomorrow. Really. Until then, let’s break some stuff! —Jordy

Elaine stood in front of a brick building on a narrow tree-lined street and blinked against the brightness of the streetlights. “Yikes,” she said, “I guess I had gotten pretty used to being in the dark out there. Where am I?”

“We, Signora Elaine, we.”

“Oh, Saint Andrew! I was hoping I didn’t make this journey alone. Speaking of which, where exactly are we?” she scanned the building and spotted a name. “Quince?! Saint Andrew, you do have great taste! I haven’t been here since Steven and my last anniversary. But, you know, I’m not terribly hungry. Actually, I haven’t been hungry since I died. Do I get hungry any more?” She looked up at Andrew who arched an eyebrow. “I’m missing something, aren’t I?” His eyes tracked over her shoulder into the restaurant and she turned to follow his gaze.

“Son of a bitch!” she swore, then walked to the door and reached for the handle. Her hand closed right through it. Rolling her eyes, she stepped through the closed glass door, around the maître d’, around the white chairs with their diners straight back to a table for two along the back exposed brick wall. “You asshole!” she swore at Steven who swirled his wine glass smiling at the brunette opposite him who returned the smile with dark red lips. “You think you can fucking kill your wife and get away with it? Oh, and with Anne!” She looked at the woman, “I fucking knew it! And here you are! It hasn’t even been, what? A week?”

“It’s been a month,” Steven said. “And no one has any idea where she’s gone.”

“A month!” She looked at the hand holding the wine glass, “And you’ve already taken off your wedding ring?! You asshole!”

“You don’t think the police are going to decide you’re not the grieving husband?” Anne asked with a wicked smile.

“Oh, they’ve tried,” he said. “The forensics people were all over the house… my cleaner has just now managed to get all that fingerprint dust and luminol cleaned up! They left the place filthy!”

“And you didn’t?” Anne asked.

“What? No. I told you, when she said she’d found out about our little… tryst,” he waggled his eyebrows, “I decided it was the right time to put our plan into action – to get her out of the way for good. One hit over the head and she went down right on the carpet that I disposed of her with.”

“Yes, about that, Steven,” she interrupted. “That rug really tied that room together…”

They both laughed.

Elaine boiled with furious rage.

“To our first month together in peace!” Steven raised his glass. They clinked and drank.

Elaine focused on the bottle of wine in the middle of the table, channeled all her fulminating rage and swirling fury at it. Nothing happened for a moment, then the bottle began to vibrate. Steven noticed it first and tilted his head at the bottle. Anne followed his glance and stared wide eyed. Elaine’s face had turned beet red as she stared intently at the bottle. Without warning she sent it smashing against the wall with a ferocity that sprayed glass and scarlet Cabernet Sauvignon all over the two at the table as well as anyone in a ten-foot radius.

Bedlam erupted in the restaurant as the wait staff hurried in to see what happened and to attend to the wine-stained guests. The bottle hit the wall so had that the glass pieces weren’t large enough to do any real damage, though one piece did open a cut on Steven’s cheek and blood mixed with wine down his cheek and onto his jacket. Steven and Anne stared at each other in utter shock.

Paramedics were called. Steven and Anne followed the advice to go to the hospital as a precaution. Elaine sat at a vacated chair nearby staring at the empty table covered in wine and glass. She was too tired to think about anything in particular, too tired to be angry right now, too tired to cry. She just stared with half-opened eyelids.

After a long time, after the scene had been cleared, after the restaurant had been closed for the night and the dining room sat empty, Saint Andrew quietly took a seat next to Elaine. “I mentioned I am the angel of sudden death when we met,” he started softly without looking at her. “When I encounter a spirit, they are new and scared and it is my job to help them across to the other side.” Elaine turned to regard him with exhaustion plain on her face. “While I know that such a thing as you did tonight – with that much energy – is theoretically possible…” he trailed off. “But… I have never seen it done.” He regarded her, “You surprised me. You impressed me. You scared me.”

Elaine could barely muster the energy to nod.

“You were not my charge,” he said. “By all rights, I should walk away. There are others who may need my services. You are not a recent death, so I should not be involved.”

Elaine mumbled something inaudible.

“Scusami?

“I said, I hear a ‘but’ in there.”

Andrew smiled at her, “Corretta. But…” he gave her a nod which she sleepily returned, “you intrigue me, Signora Elaine. And you remind me of someone else who intrigued me enough to stay around when I should have gone.”

“A’ight,” she slurred with a smile. “Le’s give ’em hell!” She tried to stand, but her legs instantly gave out and she collapsed back onto the chair.

“Yes, that is going to be a problem. I have not seen such focus before…”

“I learned it in the woods. I didn’t have anything else to do. You should have seen the look on the little beady squirrel faces when I threw pinecones at them!”

“…But you don’t have the energy to keep that up,” he finished.

She nodded with a jerk. “Yeah, you may have a point.”

“I may have a better idea…” he said.

“Oh, Saint Andrew, please tell! How are we going to get that asshole?”

“Mmm,” he shook his head with a furrowed brow and a frown, “I do not think that is the right way to go about it…”

Elaine squinted at him trying desperately to focus through her exhaustion. Like a jolt of adrenaline, the answer lit her up, “through her! Saint Andrew, make sure I don’t fall on your bad side!”

***

Still shaken after they were released from the hospital, Anne declined Steven’s offer to stay at their house. She wearily took the elevator to the forty-eighth floor of the north tower of Rincon One, locked her door behind her, stripped out of her stained clothes and collapsed into bed. While sleep came quickly, it was far from peaceful.

She found herself in a dark forest somewhere – she didn’t recognize anything but could make out the trees and bushes bathed in the silver light of a full moon. Crickets chirped and she heard the croak of a bullfrog in a pond nearby somewhere. She spun as a branch in the underbrush snapped loudly behind her. She didn’t see anything moving. She turned back slowly stood inches from the bloody face of Elaine. Anne hopped back with shock. Elaine fixed her with a stare, then reached out and took Anne’s hands in hers. Anne became aware of something wet on her hands and looked down to see her hands streaked dark with blood from Elaine’s hands.

“You have my blood on your hands,” Elaine said sadly.

“No! No!” Anne screamed, turned and started to run blindly deeper into the forest. Branches whipped at her face as blackberry bushes tore at her bare ankles and nettles stung her knees, but she sprinted ignoring the pain. She slowed, feeling she certainly had outrun the bloody Elaine. She stopped when her lungs hurt too much and panted, trying to listen to the forest around her. Everything had gone quiet. No crickets. No frog. She started to catch her breath when a voice warm and quiet spoke directly into her ear, “How safe do you feel, Anne?”

She screamed out loud and sat bolt upright in bed, panting. She stared around the dark bedroom. “Just a dream,” she said. “Just a dream…” she folder her arms around herself. She found herself damp with a cold sweat and decided she needed a hot shower to steady her nerves.

She padded to the bathroom and turned the faucet in the shower to just below scalding, closed the glass door behind her and sighed as the rain showerhead sluiced the last remnants of the dream away down the drain. She felt the hot water and steam take away the shock from the restaurant and the hospital and by the time she turned the water off and emerged into the bathroom, she felt human again and ready to try sleep again. Then she screamed and sprinted naked and dripping from the bathroom.

On the steamed mirror someone had traced the words “He will get you next.”

Elaine and Saint Andrew stood in the doorway of the bathroom, arms crossed with satisfied looks on their faces. “That went very well, Saint Andrew.”

“I agree, Signora,” he agreed. “And, I will note, with much less energy.”

“You are very right!”

Anne didn’t sleep the rest of the night and the first rays of dawn poured through the window to find her curled in a corner of her living room, every light in the room on full. She did manage to get dressed when her alarm startled her, though she shouldn’t have bothered as she jumped at everything at work. She gave a little shriek when her phone rang. The caller ID indicated Steven.

“Hey baby,” he said warmly.

“What?”

“Are you okay, sweetie?”

“No, I had a shitty night.”

“The restaurant? Jesus, I called my lawyer and he’s seeing what we can do to sue them…”

“No, not that. I had a nightmare last night. Elaine was in it.”

“Jesus, Anne, she’s gone…”

“Is she, Steven?” Elaine laughed standing behind Anne.

“Is she, Steven?” Anne asked.

“Yes, Anne, she’s gone. I can say that with absolute certainty.”

Elaine laughed as a violent shiver ran through Anne. “I’m… not so sure,” she said.

“For fuck’s sake, Anne, you’ve had one bad dream… Now’s a shitty time to get squeamish.”

“Yeah, and it’s a shitty time to be your airtight alibi,” she said and hung up the phone.

She avoided his texts the rest of the day. When night came she returned home and stared warily at the bed. The fifth Philz coffee of the day wearing off, she realized she would have to give sleep another try. She drifted off almost as soon as she lay her head on the pillow.

She also immediately found herself in a dream. “At least I know this place,” she sighed as she walked up the stairs of Steven’s Pacific Heights house.

“Sweetie? Is that you?” his voice called from the bedroom ahead.

“It’s me, darling,” she replied.

“I can’t wait to see you!” his voice carried warmth. She stepped into the bedroom surprised not to see him in bed.

“Steven?” she said, looking around.

“Right here,” he said quietly right behind her.

She jumped and turned, her eyes drawn to the bloody hammer in his hand as he violently swung it down on her and everything went black.

She leapt out of bed, tangled a leg in the sheets and landed on the floor bodily. She lay there for a few moments, happy to have woken from that nightmare. A rap on the front door caused her to jump. She realized it was just a real knock on her real door and nothing more. She stood up unsteadily, put on her robe and crossed to the door. “Who is it?” she called.

“Me,” Steven’s voice came muffled from behind the door.

She unlocked the door and opened it with her best angry look on her face. “What do you want?” she said. Her face softened immediately when she saw the long stemmed roses he held.

“I wanted to say I’m sorry,” he said.

“Aww, thank you!”

Steven stepped into the doorway and embraced her in a kiss. She released and caught something in the hallway behind him. On the wall opposite her door was smeared “He’s gonna get you” in blood.

Anne shrieked and staggered backwards into her apartment, collapsing on the floor.

“Honey, what?!” Steven asked moving towards her.

She pointed past him, eyes closed, crying. “Look! The wall!” she said.

He turned around and stared at the wall. “What about it?”

She tentatively opened one eye and then the other. “What?! There was blood…. A message… it said… it said…”

“Anne, there’s nothing there.” He moved towards her and she reflexively flinched back. He moved in anyway and knelt to pick her up in his arms. As he lifted her and took her back to the bedroom her body convulsed in sobs.

Elaine waited until the sobs receded to the bedroom. “This might be easier than I thought.”

“I told you that one would be the easier one to get to.”

“You’re a devious one, Saint Andrew…”

 

31 Ghosts 2018: October 14 – No Good Deed, part 2

I’m starting with an apology because this is totally going to be a “Back To The Future 2” in the sense that it’s serving exclusively as a bridge to part 3. Didn’t know there was going to be a part 3? I didn’t either, but today is my first day off in two weeks and I’ve come down with a severe case of the “I don’t wanna”s. To be fair, I cleaned the kitchen, the carpet, even braved Costco on a Sunday, so the fact that I’ve about run out of steam might be a little more understandable. Alas, I promise part 3 tomorrow (unless something better comes along for tomorrow), and part 2 will get you there! —Jordy

Previously: Part 1

“When I got here you were doing an admirable job,” Saint Andrew Avenillo explained. “I didn’t think intervening seemed prudent.” He gestured to where the light had winked out moments before when the recently departed Jimmy Woo crossed over. “Clearly that assessment was correct.”

“Where were you when my husband threw my body into the ravine over there?”

“Scusami, signora,” he said with genuine sorrow, “I do not know why I am sent to some places but not others. The assignments come from a higher authority,” he said casting his eyes skyward.

Elaine followed his gaze, then gave the sky the middle finger. “Some help he’s been.”

“Signora, I strongly advise against such profanity.”

Elaine looked at Saint Andrew curiously, then batted her lashes and arched an eyebrow, “Oh, Saint Andrew,” a wicked smile on her face, “I haven’t begun to be profane. Finding out your husband is cheating on you? Confronting him? Then having him kill you? That, I strongly believe, earns me the right to be profane to whomever I so choose.”

“Signora Elaine, forgive me. I am not privy to the circumstances of your death. I take it your husband murdered you?”

“Don’t let anyone tell you that you don’t catch on quick, Saint Andrew.”

“Yes,” he blinked. “If I may ask, what are you doing out here?”

“Body disposal. My asshole husband rolled me up in a carpet, threw me in the back of our Range Rover, and tossed me and that rug into the ravine down there,” she gestured with her thumb over her shoulder.

“I see,” Saint Andrew paused. “But, I do not understand, what are you still doing, here?”

“’Here,’ this road in the middle of nowhere or ‘here’, this plane of existence – why I haven’t trundled off to lightville like Jimmy just did?”

“Mmm, both, yes? Specifically, the former, but I’m curious about the latter as well.”

“I don’t know why I’m trapped out here, but I can’t leave. Everytime I do I’m right back next to my body and that god-awful area rug – his mistress, our designer, picked that damn rug out. I don’t think he realized that. He certainly wouldn’t have thought to make such an ironic statement of throwing me out in his mistress’s area rug,” she scoffed. “As to why I haven’t crossed over, the opportunity hasn’t presented itself. If I had to guess it’s because I’m supposed to ‘avenge my death,’” she said dramatically, “Or something like that. Which, mind you, I’m more than happy to do. That bastard has it coming…”

“Ah,” Saint Andrew said with a flourish of his hand. “We can discuss the avenging part in a moment,” he said, “but you being stuck here is a matter of energy. You see, as a ghost, you can manifest, but you are still attached to your body – stray too far from your body and you lose energy. Come si dice, run out of steam?” Elaine nodded in understanding. “You get so far from your anchor…”

“My body.”

“Si, and then you lose energy and… fade out. Then, like a dead battery – scusami, no pun intended – your spirit regains its strength from your body and you wake up.”

“Okay,” Elaine said in acknowledgement. “Any advice on how to break this cycle and get me back to San Francisco so I can rain ghostly vengeance on my dear hubby?”

“I’m afraid there is no way for you to escape this trap. What is worse, each time to try to venture too far and fade out you are weakening your spirit energy. If you were to keep it up you would fade out completely and either become an empty spirit with no memory of your past just wandering the countryside, or you’d just wink out of existence.”

“Thank you for that news, Saint Andrew the downer.”

“However,” he started.

“I like howevers,” she brightened.

“You did me a favor with Signor Jimmy, the least I can do is return the favor.”

“Pass me on?”

“I am afraid not, Signore Elaine. That is something you need to attain yourself. But when it comes to energy, it is hard to find more than is contained in an angel,” he waggled his eyebrows. “I can untether you.”

“Aww, you would do that for me, Andrew?”

“Of course, Signore Elaine,” he said. “Certain events of late have convinced me that sometimes a little retribution is in order.”

Elaine indicated to the sky with her eyes, “Sure he’s not going to mind?”

“Oh, no,” Saint Andrew replied. “I am given my powers with a wide discretion to use them as I see fit. Besides, what is the phrase? ‘Better to ask forgiveness than to get permission’?”

“I like the cut of your jib, Saint Andrew,” Elaine smiled. “Lay on Macduff!”

31 Ghosts 2018: October 13 – No Good Deed, part 1

We’re doing another two-parter this weekend (though it might be longer, we’ll see). Tomorrow is my first day off in two weeks, so we’ll see what this turns into then. Until then you might remember a character from last year… —Jordy

“What do we have here?” the tall woman in a black evening gown smiled at the man shivering on the side of the road staring at the smashed car in the street. The blue and red flashing lights from the CHP cruisers blocking the road lit the desolate area but didn’t illuminate either the woman nor the man.

“You… you can see me?” he asked her, eyes wide.

“Yes of course I can,” then turned to regard the scene. The carcass of an enormous elk – or at least what was left of it – littered the road in front of what was left of a late model Toyota Corolla. In front of the elk on the road, highlighted by one of the CHP cruisers headlights lay a black sheet. “Let me guess,” she looked at the gold watch on her slender wrist, then put a finger to her lips, “you were leaving work.” She looked at him, “kitchen staff?”

“Umm, no, waiter,” he blinked confusedly.

“Ah, of course. Black slacks, black button-down, should have seen that… Anyway, you were leaving work after closing, driving maybe a little too fast, weren’t wearing your seatbelt and weren’t expecting an elk to be moseying across the road. How am I doing?”

“Uh…” he started. “Yeah, that’s right,” he said, “But I always wear my seatbelt!” he added.

“Just not this time.”

“Just not this time,” he trailed off guiltily. “Who are you? Some sort of detective?”

“Well, detective was a hobby. A hobby that got me killed, but that’s a longer story.” She turned to him and offered her hand. “Elaine Higby,” she said.

“Jimmy Woo,” he offered his hand. “Why am I so cold, Ms. Higby?”

“Elaine, Jimmy, you’re not at work anymore. You’re cold because you’re dead.” The statement didn’t register. She pointed a manicured finger at the sheet. “That’s you,” she said. “I wasn’t here when it happened, but that elk arrested your cars momentum abruptly shooting you through the windshield,” she pointed to the gaping hole in the shattered windshield of the car, “like human cannonball. Unfortunately,” she traced the path from the windshield to the sheet slowly in the air, “you didn’t have a net.” Turning back to him, “Does that help?”

Eyes wide with incredulity, he shook his head. “No, it doesn’t. I can’t be dead…”

“I’m sorry, Jimmy, but facts are facts…”

“How am I here talking to you?”

“Sorry, let me amend – you’re dead and a ghost.”

“A ghost? What? Why?”

“I don’t really know. There’s usually something about unfinished business – at least that’s why I suspect I’m here still. Then there’s really violent deaths that imprint places…” she regarded him with a wary eye. “No, those generally aren’t particularly conversant… No, I suspect you’re probable the last category: too surprised to know you’re even dead.”

“I can’t be dead!” he insisted.

“Hmm,” she tilted her head. “Well, that makes my case…”

“What about my girlfriend? My son?!” tears started filling his eyes.

“Jimmy,” she said with real concern, “I’m sorry. I really am. Sometimes I can come off a little… I don’t know… flippant.”

“You think?!” he scoffed.

“Guilty,” she replied, holding up a hand in acknowledgement. “It’s just I’ve been up here for a while, just me and the flora and fauna. I guess I’ve gotten a little jaded. But, yes, your girlfriend and your son…” she paused. “They will miss you terribly. But there is no coming back from this,” she said gesturing to the sheet.

“No, no, no…” he stammered, sitting on the guardrail as tears streamed down his face.

“Jimmy, can you listen to me for a moment?” He turned his face up to her. “You don’t want to be here, not like this. Not like me,” she gestured to her dress. “Frankly, I’m stuck here. I’m still figuring out the details, but that’s my reality. That doesn’t have to be yours.”

“What do you mean?” he sniffled and wiped at his eyes.

“You need to acknowledge this,” she waved her hand taking in the scene. “You need to accept you’re not here. That sucks. It’s terrible, and it’s going to be horrible for your girlfriend, your son, and everyone who loves you. But,” she reached down and took his hands, “there’s nothing you can do. You’re gone. You belong with those you love that have already passed on. You need to be with them. The living? They’ll sort all this out. That’s what they do. That’s the human condition.”

“Human condition?”

“We love hard, we mourn hard. There wouldn’t be beauty if there wasn’t pain,” she gave him a sad smile. “It sounds cliché, but it’s true.”

“But… I don’t want to be dead!”

“Jimmy, I don’t want to be dead either.” She closed her eyes and shook her head, “we don’t always get what we want. But there’s something you need.”

“What’s that?”

“Peace,” her voice soft. Then she added, “And maybe a hug.” She didn’t finish the last word before Jimmy threw his arms around her in a desperate embrace. She hugged him back as she felt his body wracked in sobs.

After a few moments he pulled back, wiped his face again and said, “I’m really dead.”

“You are, Jimmy, you are.”

Across the street a light erupted that bathed the scene in a warm golden glow.

“Huh,” Elaine said. “So that’s what that looks like.”

“Is that?”

“The ‘light’? Yeah, I think it is. And I think it’s here for you.”

“Really?” he asked. She nodded. “You accepted your death. It’s time to be at peace.”

“Halmi?” he squinted.

Elaine looked after his gaze and barely was able to make out an elderly woman in the light. “Your grandmother?”

Jimmy nodded, a smile on his face.

“Go, Jimmy.” Without a word he stood up and slowly walked across the street. As he did the stooped woman moved far enough out of the light for Elaine to get a good look at the elderly woman. She met Jimmy partway across and hugged him tightly. They separated and she took his hand and started to lead him into the light. He stopped and looked back at Elaine and mouthed the words, “Thank you” before continuing into the light which brightened and then winked out as quickly as it started.

Jimmy was gone.

“Well, shit.” She said with a sigh. “Back to stuck in this goddamn forest with no one to talk to.”

“And yet,” came an accented voice, “You helped that young man pass over.”

Elaine turned startled, “Who are you?!”

“Hello, I’m Saint Andrew Avenillo,” The tall wiry man in a long, white, billowy robe and an aquiline nose spoke with a light Italian accent. “Signorina Elaine, you may call me Andrew. I am the angel of sudden death. I’m here to help signore Jimmy pass on. But it looks like you took care of that for me…”

Part 2